It’s 8am and you’ve just woken up in a steaming hot tent after two hours sleep. Your head bangs, your mouth tastes like old ciggies and there are strangers mere inches from your head talking about life after death. Is someone playing the bongo drums? At this hour? Yes, they are, and guess what? You’ve never felt more anxious about nothing in particular in your entire life.
I am of course referring to Glastonbury – and more specifically, that unpleasant feeling you get after going too hard the night before. But, listen, it doesn’t have to be that way. As someone who’s been to Glastonbury no fewer than 10 times, I’m here to tell you the best festival in the world can be just as fun sober as it is otherwise. In fact, the times I’ve done it sober have often been more enjoyable – and not just because I got to tell everyone about it and feel incredibly smug.
But the trick to doing Glastonbury sober isn’t to just do exactly the same stuff minus the alcohol (unless you’re one of those strange people who can dance until sunrise on pure vibes alone). No, a sober Glastonbury is its own separate beast, with its own separate benefits. To that end, if you’re thinking of doing the whole five days sober for the first time, here’s everything you need to know and look forward to.
Take full advantage of the food
Eating at Glastonbury when you’re not sober often consists of the following: stumbling over to an ice cream van at 9am because your throat is dry, spending £17 on something with “loaded” in the name because it has the smallest queue, and shovelling curry into your mouth at 4am while also marching down a dirt road in micro shorts, which just isn’t something you’d ever do in any other situation.
But here’s the thing: Glastonbury is actually foodie heaven. From vegan treats in The Green Fields to various cuisines from around the world, I’ve had some of my favourite meals outside the confines of a restaurant on Worthy Farm. One great thing about doing Glastonbury sober is that you can enjoy your meals in an intentional way – as in, you can spend time searching for what you really want and tasting it properly, as opposed to like, chewing on some dry microwaveable rice packets for fuel in between pints.
Get really into the Healing Fields
Aside from being a music festival and 120-hour nightclub, Glastonbury can also be approached as a wellness retreat of sorts. You can go there for massages, yoga classes, Tai Chi, meditation, gong baths, crystal healing, singing, osteopathy… anything even slightly healing-adjacent is probably available within the festival’s famous Healing Fields. You could even go there to simply nap in the sun while a wizard in a toga plays the flute, or something.
